DECEMBER 3, 2022

The Crazy God Story Behind the Unlocked Story

Days after arriving home from a visit to Nantucket to help my dearest childhood friend with her nutrition program in her battle against Lyme disease, I felt that something was off with my own health. Finding a bite, that I had reason to believe was a deer tick on the back of my arm the next day, I had a feeling that I was in big trouble. Again.

Having beat Lyme disease naturally over ten years prior through the power of prayer and intensive detoxing, I was not thrilled to have to even think of battling Lyme again. My business as a personal trainer, corrective exercise and behavioral change specialist, corporate wellness coordinator, health coach and nutritionist, was doing amazing at the time. Sadly, I felt as though I had been run over and I had no choice but to let every single client, and my business, go.

After many emergency room visits and no help, things went from bad to worse, fast. Weeks of spending my days and nights only going from the bedroom to the bathroom, crawling on my hands and knees, I begged God for healing. I thought about the hundreds of people I had helped with their health over the years, but Lyme was kicking my butt and keeping me up, night after night, in pain.

However, one night, I finally got some sleep, and in God’s infinite kindness, He gave me a dream. The full dream of my books. The tears, laughter, and sheer awe this story and its characters brought out of me while I slept, amazed me. Upon waking, I was so astounded by the intensity of the dream, I could not speak. This reminded me of Zachariah in the Bible after seeing an angel. It was not the same, of course, but still, my heart went out to poor ole’ Zach.

For a moment, I wondered what God wanted me to do with this dream, but within minutes, clarity rushed in. I was to do nothing for years but focus on writing the message of these books. What was the message He gave me to write, you ask? There are many lessons in these stories, but the most prominent one was, I was to teach people how to seek the beauty of God like treasure to find their joy. And I was to show His undying love for His children, which is only one facet of His beauty. Through my own personal story, and through the writing of this book series I was to show people how they can overcome despite all odds, due to the power of prayer, help from others, from His love, and His Word.

That morning after my dream, like a miracle, I felt well enough to go to church. So, still unable to speak, I rode to the service with my son and husband, in silence. I then took my seat in the sanctuary to listen to the message. Which “just so happened” to be all about teaching people how to seek the beauty of God like treasure to find their joy and about His undying love for His children, which is only one of the many facets of His beauty. Near the end of the message, the preacher said, “I feel, that God feels so strongly about this topic, I believe that some of you are going to write books about it. Perhaps it will even become a movie.”

Overwhelmed and crying, I made my way to the car after the message. I knew writing these books would be very difficult, and I had taken enough sales training to know that I just had to have my “WHY” in order to persevere. So, I asked Him, and I could feel the heart of God for the hurting and oppressed like never before. Right then, He gave me many reasons why I should drop everything and focus only on writing these books, but He gave me four reasons for writing them in particular.

“Why” number one: The dream made it very clear that my books would touch on difficult topics such as loss of a loved one, loss of wealth or health, grief, mental illness, suicide, suicidal thoughts, depression, and anxiety. I knew that it would also cover loneliness, anger toward the church or just God in general, addiction, abuse, the pain of trauma, especially traumatic thoughts you can’t get out of your head, and more. I had so many family members dealing with several of these different things at the time, just thinking about it all, I felt heavy. But deep down, I was glad He wanted to address these difficult topics, that many people struggle to talk about openly.

When I was only ten years old, I had lost a twelve-year-old cousin to suicide that I loved dearly. Of course, at such a young age, I did not understand any of it. All I knew was, I felt everyone’s pain right in my gut and it hurt for many years. I could tell his parents never got over it, and I did not blame them. Also, being married to a veteran, I knew the number 22 all too well. 22 veterans a day at the time were taking their own lives, and sadly the rate is still that high. Although now an adult, I still could not comprehend such a tragic loss. I strongly feel that one loss through suicide a day is way too many. This dream showed me, God agreed with me.

Recently, a niece of mine who has always been like a daughter to me had a terrible bout with mental illness. She had not slept for five days, I believe she had mold poisoning, and she was in a bad situation spiritually, which put her in the mental hospital. Her story is proof that the mental health system needs to be completely revamped. They put her in a room, alone, which she hates because she is such a “people person” and they took away her phone. She was allowed zero visits or communication with the outside world. She had no interview, was given no advice, and did not even have blood work done to check for potential drug use. She was given fifteen different drugs and sent away to fend for herself, with no follow-up visits planned. This mortified me. My heart breaks daily for those struggling with mental health issues, so I pray things can change. It simply must.

Knowing my niece, nephew, a family friend, and so many others, were fighting depression and suicidal ideations, after having the dream about my books, I just knew I had to do my part my own way. Not being a licensed a therapist, I prayed my books would at least raise awareness and make an impact on the world somehow. I was hoping, with open discussions, working with both the nutritional and medical systems together, and with the power of prayer, we could lower or completely stop the suicide numbers one day.

“Why” number two: I have seen firsthand the effects that alcoholism has on families. My grandfather suffered from addiction, which harmed my grandmother, my mother, and her many siblings. My husband’s father did as well, and it hurt my dear husband, his siblings, and his mother terribly. I also had a very close friend who battled with it, and she was just inches away from taking her own life because of it. Through my books, I want to let those who battle with this issue know, they are deeply loved by the Father, and He longs to set them free.

“Why” number three: When I was personal training at a massive fitness center in one of America’s greatest cities, there was a family I got to know well. Both the father and mother of this family were my clients that grew to be dear to my heart. I never had the pleasure of meeting their eldest son, but one day, for reasons we will never know, their beautiful son was murdered. He was only in his early twenties. His parents, sister, and sweet younger brother that I adored, were never the same again following this tragedy.

Myself, my family, my other clients, the entire fitness center’s staff, and its members, as well as the whole town, mourned his death. It was awful. When possible, I tried to share the love of the Lord with them, but they were furious with God and would have none of it. My soul was crushed for them, and I cried out to God on their behalf. I did not blame them for their rage. It was a normal response, yet still, I knew God was not the one to blame. So, I wrote the sections on dealing with anger towards God with compassion, having them on my mind with every word.

“Why” number four: As I stated, I was deathly ill when I had this dream. Never having been one to enjoy sitting still, I was disappointed to soon find myself back in bed. The good news was, I could hear God loud and clear. So, it began. For months on end, I laid in bed writing obediently. During this season I was in was tremendous physical pain as well as horrible emotional pain after my dad’s passing from Parkinson’s.

Also, my mom, who was visiting me at the time, was diagnosed with cancer. However, after losing my dream job, my health, and losing a family friend to mental illness, and more, I still obeyed. Happily. The way the Lord spoke to me and directed my thoughts, page after page, was staggering. In fact, I could not write fast enough. The story, the beauty, the glory, the deep teachings, and His love; poured out of Him, through me, like rain.

I ended up writing the entire book that year, which turned out to be just over 375,000 words. I wrote it with my thumbs on my iPhone in bed, because I was too weak to sit at a desk or even tolerate the weight of a laptop. (375,000 words! That must be some sort of world record, right?) Years later, I was healthier, I had a full novel and then some, and I was amazed. While writing, I felt closer to God than I had since becoming a Christian over 35 years ago. His incredible guidance and presence have not left me to this day. Cutting the book in half to make a duology and working to trim it down for many years, to around 100,000 words each, was no easy task. Yet, we did it.

Although it has taken years, my books were an escape for me. Having the vivid imagination I have, as I wrote, my mind was off both my situation and my pain. When my husband would leave for work, he would always say, “Have fun in Europe.” He knew how my mind would dive into my work each day. The gardens, Locke Mansion, the characters, and the beautiful world I was creating helped me to heal. I am very glad to say, that even though my books are not yet published, they have already been helping others who have read them.

During this year, at times, I would get on FB when taking breaks. Hearing the stories from my Lyme Disease FB group, of other women who suffered from Lyme Disease like me, was heartbreaking. Many, who were as ill as me, were trying to work outside the home and raise children on their own at the same time. They told stories of how their husbands had left them all alone. Some were even wheelchair bound. I could not imagine such a thing. These women’s stories made me want to sell massive amounts of books so I could in turn help Lyme patients financially. For your see, however grateful I was for my Mr. Wonderful taking care of me, I was not yet able to help others in anyway, which frustrated me. They all need and deserve help; too, therefore, they are also my… “why.”

After leaving the church the morning after my dream, I felt the anointing of God on me. I was then able to speak freely and pour out my entire dream to my family. The uniqueness of the story blew us all away. The fact that God, the very next morning, out loud through our pastor, confirmed that I was to write this book without delay; shocked us. Hoping I was healed, on the way home, I thought about working part-time and writing part time, but nope.

Thankfully, besides being directed by God, I had a lot of help editing from many wonderful people. Taking lots of feedback to heart from my beta readers, and with a great deal of prayerful consideration, we have two final drafts that are now ready to change lives, one page at a time. As we point to the love of God with each surprise, smile that the characters bring, and with an amazing ending; we are excited. May all who are blessed enough to have the ability to read this story, realize that He is holding them in His arms, just as He did me. Below are a few examples to prove it.

His faithfulness blew me away during this “book writing” season. One thing He did, was reveal my cover to me before I even had an idea of what I wanted. However, I had a very clear vision of who my main character was to be modeled after. A few years earlier, our sons had become close to a wonderful family in our church who had several daughters. The Lord let me know that I was to write my lead character around this family’s youngest daughters’ looks, her hair, and sweet personality. I was then instructed to mix my own boldness, sass, and relationship that I had with God, into this character. He then had me dream my book cover one night and I loved what I saw.

Never having made a book cover before, I wondered how on earth I would ever create something like it. It was beautiful in every way. Our family friend was looking into a mirror with a crown of flowers on her head. One of the male characters in the story was standing directly behind her, looking mysterious. Three days later, low and behold, she posted one of her wedding photos on FB. It “just so happened” to be the exact image I needed and had seen in my dream three nights prior. But what you must understand, is that… she had never shared it before. Can you believe it? I was dumbfounded! She and her photo were stunning, but more importantly, I knew it belonged on my cover.

To my relief, she and her wedding photographer agreed to let me use her face and wedding photos for my covers. For at that point, the book had already been written and I do not know what I would have done had she refused. She is such a giver. Much like my leading lady in my story. I will forever be grateful.

Another thing God did to encourage me, was truly incredible. In my life, my eldest sister-in-law, Nancy, was one of my role models. Growing up, sitting next to her while listening to her play the piano brought me such joy. The many places I mentioned a piano in my book were in her honor. During the time of my writing of these books, my youngest son had purchased a beautiful piano. Since my father had collected antiques for years, I knew it was an exquisite antique, yet we had no idea what year it had been created.

When we sold our home and decided to move, my son chose to give his piano away to my cover models older sister, who had grown very dear to us. She and her husband had helped our family over the years many times. She played wonderfully, needed a piano, had the space, and her father “just so happened” to be an accomplished pianist who could restore it to perfection. The day their father and his crew came to pick up my son’s piano, while halfway out the door, (when they needed a break since it was so heavy) he decided to take it apart to lighten their load. He also wanted to see what year it had been made. After digging deep inside, when he announced that it had been built in 1890, I almost passed out! This “just so happened” to be the year the story in my books take place! Which is just more proof that God is hilarious and loves to surprise us. Which I am happy to say, is very much like the lead male character in my books.

Throughout the seven years of perfecting, editing, and re-writing this tale, God led me, step by step. As per His instructions, I studied the Word, listened to worship music, researched, listened to sermons and pod casts. I also read articles and listened to experts in their field almost all day, every day, while writing. The teachings I have learned from these experts from all over the world have been invaluable to me.

Besides learning how to seek the beauty of God like treasure to find joy, they have educated me a great deal on many topics. Renewing the mind, grief and dealing with loss, overcoming addiction, how to overcome trial and heal from trauma, and the deep love of God for the hurting, are a few lessons they’ve taught me. I am in their debt for sharing their amazing wisdom and music with the world.

Although I am still dealing with the effects of Lyme, I could not be more thankful to be alive. There were moments during the past seven years when I thought, seriously, that these books were being written for my extended family, and my husband, children, and grandchildren only. I had been so gravely ill at times that I did not see myself being able to finish them and get them to market. I hoped, at least, that my sons would have these books to learn from for years to come. I trusted that the lessons throughout, would be a way for me to continue to teach them about how deeply they are loved by myself, and by the Lord, long after I am gone.

Since there were many moments when I thought I might not make it another day, for fun, hidden within the books, I carefully placed hints of precious things for my family to discover. Such as the split leaf maple tree with a swing, like you see on the back cover of book two. At my parent’s house, generations grew up playing together on a tree similar to that. Its’ massive branches and swings created countless hours of incredible memories that our family members, young and old alike, will cherish for a lifetime. So, although these books are now ready for all to enjoy, I hope my family will know how much I adore them while reading. I pray that they will allow these secret treasures hidden within the stories, to remind them of the countless good times we once shared.

Now, here I am, with my health improving daily, both my sons happily married to outstanding women, and feeling more in love with my husband of thirty-three years than ever, I am encouraged. I plan to write more stories once these first two books have been released. One future book to come is an amazing story about castles, kingdoms, reconciliation, faith, and of course -love. I am so excited to write it. I also hope to write many children’s books for my grandson and any future grandchildren. So, stay tuned.

I am so glad that I listened to the Lord and took the time to write my heart out for the Unlocked Series. As I said, I have never felt His tangible presence more than during the writing of these books. I am amazed at how He and I together, were able to make a such sweet lemonade out of the bitter lemons that life had handed me. But, once again, I can see how God turned around what the devil meant for evil, for my good and for His glory. He’s amazing like that.

May these books and my story of healing, encourage you -the reader, no matter what challenges in life you may be facing, or not facing. Trust that God the Father, His Spirit, and His beloved Son, absolutely love and care for you more than you will ever know. Have faith that He’s got you. This story, and my life, prove it.